5 Quick Questions About Personal Hygiene

It’s time for a new edition of 5 Quick Questions!

5 Quick Questions are a Sometime Tradition here on the 5 Kids Blog. This is my opportunity to get to know you better, and it’s one of the best things we do here because it turns out you are very good at truth-telling, friends. 

To those of you who used the last few volumes to delurk, it’s wonderful to meet you! And to those of you who’ve been around a while, mucking about in this space and putting your feet on the furniture? You’re always rad. Thank you.

As you may know, 5 Quick Questions can be anything from the EVER IMPORTANT What Is Your Family Booger Rule? to the more serious (and my absolute favorite because you were so deeply honest and so very different from each other) Questions About Faith.

Today shall be along the Ever Important lines.

We shall discuss Personal Hygiene. 


Because I miss it. I miss it very much. And it’s good to mourn together. 

ID-100400665 Quick Questions about Personal Hygiene

  1. What is your personal hygiene regimen?
  2. Was question 1 too hard to answer because REGIMEN — HAHAHAHAHA?
  3. What is your best Fake-Like-You-Have-Good-Hygiene Trick?
  4. Assuming soap is provided, if you were stuck on a desert island (a desert island with little umbrella drinks and cabanas and All Your Momrades and access to long, hot baths and HUGE beds without sand or smashed cereal in them) and you could only bring TWO personal hygiene products with you, what would they be?
  5. Will you go skinny dipping with me on the island? What if it’s still daylight? ( <– Not actually a question about hygiene, but I got distracted by the whole island thing, and now I’m on a need-to-know here.)

Here are my answers:

  1. Regimen? HAHAHAHAHA. I used to have one of those. Pre-kids, I showered twice a day. Twice a day, friends. When sharing a hotel room, friends would ask, “Do you want the shower in the morning or at night?” Then I’d laugh at them and say BOTH. Like THEY were the crazy ones. Man, those were the days.
  2. YES, QUESTION 1 IS TOO HARD TO ANSWER. So far, I am NOT impressed with these questions. Does it count as a “regimen” to shower once a week when my hygiene becomes truly too awful to ignore? Does it? Does it count as a “regimen” to give myself quick sink wipe-downs between luxurious 5-minute weekly showers so no one On The Outside notices? Is it weird that I’m referring to outside my house as “On The Outside” like my house is a penitentiary or is that just good sense? I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.
  3. This is a much better question. MUCH better. I actually have some of these Fake-Like-I-Have-Good-Hygiene Tricks. Here are two:
    A. There’s the wash-the-bangs-in-the-sink trick. That’s a life saver.
    B. There’s the buy Suave (read: cheap) Dry Shampoo trick. I honestly would consider giving up one of my toes to keep this in my life. I mean, how much can I possibly miss a toe?
  4. Assuming I have time to actually shower on this magical island, obliterating the need for Dry Shampoo (and allowing me to keep all my toes — HOORAY!), I’d go with hair conditioner and a razor. I probably should’ve picked deodorant and a toothbrush. I feel like this is unnecessarily hard.
  5. I will lead the charge. In the dark. I will lead the charge in the dark for the skinny dipping, or, as we call it in my family, the chunky dunking. Now, to be technically accurate, I will lead the chunky dunking charge in the daylight, too, if, by “lead the charge” we understand it to mean “find an unpopulated part of the island, strip so fast we break the sound barrier, and jump into mostly opaque water.” …Or if “lead the charge” means you triple dog dared me… after all, I’ve always been highly prone to peer pressure and had very poor judgement. In fact, Greg made me a Venn diagram once to illustrate what I’ll do in any given situation. He called it “practically a bicycle.” So, you know; be careful who you let lead these kinds of charges. WORD TO THE WISE.



OK – your turn. 5 Quick Questions, friends! What’ve you got??


Open Hand With Glove image credit Ambro via freedigitalimages.net

ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
  1. I was away Fri morning-Tuesday night. When Ben and I were driving home from the airport I said, “I need to shower, I’m gross.”
    And he asked calmly, “Did you shower at all while you were there?”.

    It was a reasonable question.

    And he’s still choosing to marry me.

  2. I am currently holding a toddler with one hand, so I will not be answering all of the questions, but I just had to say…..

    3. Baby powder is my best friend. It’s a dry shampoo! It’s a shirt de-stinkifier! It even works as deodorant in a pinch! And there was that one time I even used it to dry up vomit on the bathroom floor….

    And you can probably infer the rest of my answers from this way too truthful admission.

  3. 1. shower when i must. shave & brush my teeth when i think about it. yep…that’s it.
    2. yes.
    3. dry shampoo for the third day of dirty hair. high messy bun with a colorful scarf for day 4. white eyeliner for bottom eyelids and mascara. spray deodorant is great for any extra smell cover-up.
    4. sunscreen (i’m a redhead) & a scarf

  4. 1) What is your personal hygiene regimen?
    Get up, put on clean underwear and clothes. I try to make sure I shower at least 2-3 times per week. Pre-children, I could NOT get dressed before showering every single day.

    2) Was question 1 too hard to answer because REGIMEN — HAHAHAHAHA?
    It was easy to answer, but hard to confess.

    3) What is your best Fake-Like-You-Have-Good-Hygiene Trick?
    Uhh.. Um.. Wear deodorant?

    4) Assuming soap is provided, if you were stuck on a desert island (a desert island with little umbrella drinks and cabanas and All Your Momrades and access to long, hot baths and HUGE beds without sand or smashed cereal in them) and you could only bring TWO personal hygiene products with you, what would they be?
    I would bring a toothbrush and a hair brush.

    5) Will you go skinny dipping with me on the island? What if it’s still daylight? ( <– Not actually a question about hygiene, but I got distracted by the whole island thing, and now I’m on a need-to-know here.)
    Nope. No skinny dipping for me! But if y'all are naked, I might dare to wear a tiny bikini. As long as I'm showing less than everyone else, I'm good.

  5. Fascinating post, and replies! I picked up a few tips that I’ll be applying this week!
    I probably spent too much time in front of the mirror, partly because the bathroom is the only door in the house that my children & husband (who is a stay at home guy, and drives me crazy sometimes!) wouldn’t dare open without permission, and I use it as my office, library, beauty parlor, etc.

    1. Brush my teeth as soon as I wake up, I’ve been told I have dragon breath, being a mouth breather when I sleep. Shower sometime before school pickups, unless I’m doing really messy yard work or other tasks, then at night. Definitely wash/condition hair, use antibacterial soap on pits, feminine soap on the rest of me, and shave 1X/week, a bit more in summer months. My teenage daughter shaves nearly daily, and she thinks my habits are gross! I baby oil my wet body over the floor towel (do not do this in the shower, as my dd did, creating an ice rink!) and pat dry, or use lotion. Must moisturize or feel like a prune! Definitely use deodorant; wash my face most nights, and have to brush/floss before I can sleep, even when we go camping! I also regularly pluck the grays, like as in pulling several a day, getting all of them throughout the month. I have yet to color my hair, and feel the time spent doing this is $ saved! Light makeup every day: blush, eye conceiler, eye liner, mascara, it takes two minutes to put on and makes such a difference! Drying my hair is a must, I cannot stand the feel of wet hair, and mine will stay wet for hours.

    2. Nope, I’ve got the regimen thing down-pat! Realize maybe I need to loosen up a bit, after reading other posts. But I do like my bathroom routines! (and privacy!)

    3. Occasionally I do stray, so we have dry shampoo (I only thought this was available for nursing homes, I was amazed to see it at Walgreens one day!), though my kids use it more than me…I just can’t stand the smell of it, though it is quite magical. Tic tacs, for when I just can’t brush after coffee or asparagus. Oh, and putting on makeup even if I didn’t shower yet. Hair in a bun w/ baseball cap, my favorite summertime shortcut!

    4. Toothbrush and floss, hands down. I brush 3-5X/day, & I can’t stand the tight feeling my teeth get without floss. I’m going to make friends with Charity and see if she’ll share her coconut oil, since I use it for as many purposes as she does, but I just can’t give up these other two items. If her name alludes her personality, she’ll share!

    5. Ummmmmm, I guess, if you all don’t mind keeping it real! 3 babies and not much exercise = well, you don’t want to know. The last time I can recall skinny dipping was with my now husband, then boyfriend, in his parents pool at night with just the pool light on. I know! The light was on! I was a size 4 and overly confident. It was a chaste occasion, just a little risqué!

    And now I sort of feel like I wrote all this for naught, as who but me is really going to read through these comments?! I did so enjoy having some girl time with all of you. Meet you on Beth’s Island! Please share your tweezers with me, so I can stave off the grays.(waving in the dark…)

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